Back in Action

I’ve come back to world of blogs after ignoring their existence and importance for some time. Recently I’ve made myself a website (www.gonzography.com) and have been trying to market myself as a professional. Apparently you (creative, artistic, craft-type people) are suppose to have a strong online presence if you want to be taken seriously. I was told by a real film producer that when people apply to work on her sets she get an abundance of qualified people. She ends up Googling everyone’s name and usually hires the people who come up in her search. I think that can be flawed because some people have very common names. I know a Kevin Smith, John Moore, Jim Henson, and Julia Bond and if you Google any of their names you won’t be able to find them. Just for fun, try Googling Sarah Gonzalez. You will get Sarah Gonzalez’s lyrics to “Why did you Leave me”, some Latin American soccer star, a New York City Council Member Sara M. Gonzalez and some random other people’s blogs, myspaces, facebooks and twitter (actually mine). I’m trying best I can to come up on my Google search but I won’t be surprised if I’m never number one on my search. I’m trying to come up for Gonzography which I think is more reasonable.

I often get overwhelmed with the whole idea of adulthood and professionalism. Owning things, paying bills, being responsible is fine and all but it’s not something I feel attached to in any way. Who made all these rules? Granted, it’s kind of fun in a narcissistic way but why would anyone outside my family care what I have to say about anything. I do have a lot of information about things that some people might find useful but I’m sure someone else online has that same information. I feel like we’re all putting these ideas out in the digital abyss but I wonder if anyone actual does anything productive with these thoughts. Are we all just doing and making things just so someone online can validate that we did it? Is someone’s value really measured by their online presence? Just thinking about this makes me want to delete my whole online existence but then I wouldn’t be a “professional”.

I have a theory about age: It seems to me one of the most distinguishable characteristics of children is their ability to be open minded and eager to learn. Even if a child is certain of one thing, you can easily correct him/her and they take it and move on. “what’s this?”, “why is it like that?”, “what does this do?” If you’ve ever spent any amount of time with a kid you’ll probably be bombarded with questions. It’s pretty refreshing actually. Age is based not actually on years alive on earth but of the ability to open one’s self to knowledge. As kids get older, they want to seem older so they begin to fake knowing more than they actually know because of the assumption that adults “know everything”. This is the problem. Listen up kiddos, here’s a secret your parents may not want you to know: Adults don’t know everything. There is no way that any one person can have all the answers. Even if you can collect all the information in the world it wouldn’t last more than a second because every pasting moment, new things develop and history grows. However, there are many people that I’ve come across that are unteachable because they refuse to learn. I know a 50 something year old that falls in this category. She comes off as very old, even crotchety. She won’t accept any new information that me or anyone really, offers. On the flip side, I knew an 80 something year old that was very vivacious. He was thirsty for knowledge and experiences. He was eager to find answers, travel and explore new cultures. He had the spirit of child. The one thing to keep in mind is that the older someone is, does mean that that person has experienced more that someone younger, but it doesn’t mean it is better or worse that younger.

I’m 25 and not really sure what I’m suppose to do. I’m not special in this way. Everyone I know that’s my age seems to be somewhat lost. Jobs, relationships, insurance, houses, cars, babies, travel, service: not really sure which one should be a priority or which direction I should point. I’m open to everything and ready for anything but somehow that’s still not settling.